We live in a world that values extroversion and constant social interaction. But not everyone thrives in those circumstances!
Many identify as introverted, shy, or socially anxious, but these terms are often used interchangeably, leading to confusion.
Let’s explore the distinctions between introversion, shyness, and social anxiety, to help you better assess your needs and how to nurture your wellbeing.
What’s introversion?
Introversion is a personality trait characterized by a preference for solitude and inner reflection. Introverts tend to feel energized by spending time alone and engaging in solitary activities. Introversion is not a flaw or a disorder; it's simply a natural variation in personality.
They often value their own thoughts and recharge by withdrawing from social situations, as opposed to extroverts who draw their energy from interactions. While introverts may enjoy socializing, they may find prolonged interactions draining and require time alone to recharge their mental batteries.
Am I an introvert?
Here are some questions to ask yourself if you think you might be an introvert rather than shy or socially anxious:
How do you feel after being in a social setting, including people you know and are very comfortable with?
How do you feel after spending time alone?
Are your hobbies activities you do alone such as reading or drawing or with others like playing basketball or board games?
Introverted vs shy
Contrary to popular belief, being introverted doesn’t necessarily mean you’re shy. You can be a very relaxed and self-confident person and still be introverted.
That being said, you can be anxious or shy AND an introvert. Being shy can accentuate the traits of introverts and make interactions more draining.
Wellbeing tips for introverts
While people might want to grow out of shyness, introversion is a personality trait that doesn’t need to be overcome. However, there are some ways you can protect your mental health as an introvert:
Accept your introversion as a personality trait and not something to fix.
Set clear boundaries to protect your energy and your mental health.
Schedule regular alone time to recharge, engage in activities you enjoy, or pursue your hobbies.
Find your optimal social balance by choosing social activities that align with your interests and values.
Prioritize self-care activities that rejuvenate your mind and body.
Seek meaningful connections with people who understand and appreciate your introverted nature.
Plan social interactions strategically to have breaks or downtime.
Clearly express your needs and preferences to those around you.
What’s shyness?
Shyness is a feeling of discomfort or apprehension in social situations, often accompanied by self-consciousness. Shy individuals may experience anxiety when meeting new people or when faced with unfamiliar social settings.
Unlike introversion, shyness is more about social anxiety and the fear of being judged or criticized by others. Shyness can be seen as a temporary state and may fade over time as individuals gain confidence and become more comfortable in social situations.
Am I shy?
Here are some questions to ask yourself if you think you might be a shy person:
Do you experience anxiety or discomfort when meeting new people?
Are you concerned with how people you don’t know perceive you in social interactions?
Do you tend to be very quiet with new people and loosen up progressively as you get to know them?
Shyness vs social anxiety
Here are some key differences between shyness and social anxiety:
Intensity
Shyness is generally milder and less severe than social anxiety disorder. Social anxiety involves more intense and pervasive feelings of fear and anxiety in social situations.
Impairment
Shyness does not typically cause significant impairment in a person's life, whereas social anxiety disorder can severely impact an individual's daily functioning, relationships, and quality of life.
Avoidance
Shy persons may experience some reluctance or discomfort in social situations, but they can still participate in them. In contrast, people with social anxiety tend to avoid or endure their feared social situations with immense distress to escape potential scrutiny or embarrassment.
Physical symptoms
Both shyness and social anxiety can be accompanied by physical symptoms like blushing, trembling, rapid heartbeat, or sweating. However, these symptoms may be more pronounced in social anxiety disorder.
What’s social anxiety?
Social anxiety is an intense and persistent fear of social situations, often resulting from a fear of embarrassment or humiliation. Unlike shyness, which may be temporary, social anxiety is an ongoing condition that significantly impacts a person's daily life.
Symptoms include physical aspects such as sweating, blushing, nausea, heart beating faster, or an urge to go to the bathroom, and behaviors like avoidance, overpreparing, and ruminating after the event.
Individuals with social anxiety may avoid social gatherings altogether, experience panic attacks, or constantly worry about being negatively evaluated by others. It’s an ongoing mental health problem that can cause a huge amount of distress and impact someone’s self-confidence, their studies, work, and relationships.
Am I socially anxious?
Wondering if you suffer from social anxiety rather than shyness or an introverted personality? Ask yourself these questions:
Are you primarily concerned with how others perceive you in social situations?
How often do you avoid social situations due to fear or anxiety?
Does your fear of being judged or criticized hinder your ability to live your life fully?
Wellbeing tips for the shy & socially anxious
Here are some tips to help you better cope with shyness and social anxiety:
Gradual exposure
Start by challenging yourself with small, manageable social situations. Gradually increase the level of difficulty as you become more comfortable.
Practice mindful breathing
When you feel anxious or nervous in social situations, take slow, deep breaths. This can help calm your body and mind.
Shift your focus
Instead of worrying about how others perceive you, focus on being present in the moment and engaging in the conversation. Pay attention to what others are saying rather than being overly self-conscious.
Challenge negative thoughts
Social anxiety often stems from negative self-talk and longer-term beliefs. Challenge those thoughts by questioning their validity and replacing them with more positive and realistic ones.
Take care of yourself
Prioritize self-care activities that help reduce anxiety, such as regular exercise, getting enough sleep, and practicing relaxation techniques like meditation or yoga.
Find like-minded people
Look for opportunities to engage with others who share your interests or hobbies. It can be easier to connect and feel more comfortable in social settings when you have a common topic to discuss.
Don’t beat yourself up
Remember that overcoming social anxiety is a gradual process. Don't expect overnight changes or perfection. Be patient with yourself and embrace the journey of personal growth.
Now you know the difference between shyness, social anxiety, and introversion, you can implement some of these wellbeing tips to build meaningful connections and protect your mental health.